Alone time: expectation vs. reality

As I was searching through my phone for a picture to use for this post I was looking for something calming, peaceful, beautiful. Instead I found this and its actually the perfect picture. These days taking time for myself usually looks like catching up on the dishes after dinner while Jeff puts the boys to bed. People are constantly telling me to take time for myself and I really love the concept but the reality of what it looks like is much different from my expectations and not really all that satisfying. I'm really not even sure what I did with my free time before Lewis was born but here are some things that I like to do now: 

Taking a bath

expectation: peaceful, quiet, no interruptions. Completely relaxing for mind and body

reality: spend 30 minutes making sure the boys have everything they need for their rest time and that Annibel is asleep. Things are looking good. I get into the bath, everything is going according to plan. As soon as I settle in both cats and both boys run in (Lewis has to poop, yay). Boys are asking questions non stop and BOTH cats are walking around the edge of the tub. Boys leave, cat falls into the tub (gross), aaannd my bath is over lol. 

Writing this blog post

expectation: My computer gets 30 minutes of my undivided attention

reality: after I type the first letter I hear multiple, extremely loud bangs coming from the attic (where the boys play). I race up and yell ask the boys to be quiet (hardest part of having a baby who still takes naps!). They both ask for a yogurt snack. I go back downstairs to grab their snack. No yogurt. I race back up to tell them I'll bring them a snack as soon as I'm done with my work. Start writing again. Sam is crying. Run back upstairs as quickly as possible to tell Sam to be quiet and to tell Lewis to share all of his toys immediately. All of this happens several more times before Anni wakes up from her nap

Eating lunch

expectation: eating lunch in silence without anyone needing anything from me

reality: The boys need help putting on their costumes, one of them gets hurt on the trampoline, they both need water, one of them spills his water on the way out, the baby cat escapes outside. 

Going to the gym before the kids wake up

expectation: sneak out at 5:50am while everyone is still sleeping peacefully

reality: Don't end up going to sleep until 11:15 pm the night previous, One of the boys wakes up in the middle of the night from a nightmare, Anni wakes up uncharacteristically early the SECOND I step out of the front door and wants to nurse

Grabbing coffee with a friend:

expectation: I will buy the kids hot chocolate and some delicious treats and they will play sweetly with each other while my friend and I catch up

reality: one or all of the kids undergo a strange, inexplicable emotional change on the way to the coffee shop which results in much crying and complaining from the moment we arrive to the moment we leave. 

I try to do something for myself every day so that I don't go crazy. I'm learning that right now "alone time" doesn't look the same as it used to and that's ok. Most days I just have to stop and laugh in the midst of all of the chaos. Life is so beautiful