It must be the coffee talking

 Ever since I was gifted my sweet little coffee cup for my birthday I've been making coffee for myself more and more often. It has been oddly therapeutic in some unexpected ways. Over the past few years I've gone through some major diet and lifestyle changes. These days I eat mainly paleo (veggies, potatoes and similar starches, and protein) which I love because I've never felt better physically. My mindset toward food has also changed drastically and I look at food differently than I used to. I still love cooking and eating but many days preparing food feels like drudgery and eating it just something I do to fuel my body. Food doesn't make me feel good emotionally anymore (the feeling you get when you are about to eat a giant slice of cake or a delicious donut) and I'm so strict with myself day to day it's hard to let go and enjoy a treat guilt free once in awhile.
 Drinking something that makes me feel so fresh and awake, so happy and energized feels wrong. I probably sound crazy but some days I have a huge internal battle before I make my coffee "do I REALLY need this coffee to feel good today? What if it becomes a crutch? Maybe I should just have some tea. Or some warm lemon water, or....apple cider vinegar." As you can see, the internal conversation goes to a really dark place haha.
 All that to say, coffee has been good for me. This simple act of making coffee is teaching me that it's ok to enjoy a cup of coffee (or two) in the mornings, it's ok to feel like a million bucks at 8am even though I'm still in my pajamas and haven't accomplished anything else, and it's ok to love coffee just because of the way it makes me feel, it doesn't have to do anything "good" for my body. It's not good or bad, it just is, and that is good.